For The "txtng" Generation

If you can read the following .txt rhyme right off the bat, you are without question among the ".txt generation." In fact, you are totally there if most of these words actually appear to be spelled correctly.

For those of you who may miss a few lines, you are probably still safe as a member of the ".txt-geezer bridge generation." You understand what is being said sufficiently to translate for people who are reaching for their red pencils to correct the spelling.

The rest of us are firmly planted in the ".txt-challenged generation." The rhyme makes absolutely no sense and you are wondering why anyone would even write such stuff down. But that's OK. You are not expected to get it. And your thumbs are too big anyway.

Just in case you are curious about the actual words in the .txt version of the rhyme, or what the rhyme might look like in English, a translation is provided below. Enjoy.

CallN Plnz
By Bill Kirk

My Dad bawt me a cell ph.
It’s realy wA 2 QL.
U won’t bleev w@ it cn do—
I’ll shO u aftr skool.

It ltz me d/l muzc;
Snd pix, gmes n stuf.
It evn hlps me do my Math,
N f that’s nt nuf,

It hs a dxNre;
N evry country’s map—
Jst ask me whr a rivA s.
I’ll fnd it ina snap!

There’s O1 sml prob—
It’s nm @ ll.
Bt sumday mayB I shd lern
To actuly mak a cll.

Translation for the .txt challenged:

Calling Plans
By Bill Kirk

My Dad bought me a cell phone.
It’s really way too cool.
You won’t believe what it can do—
I’ll show you after school.

It lets me download music;
Send pictures, games and stuff.
It even helps me do my Math,
And if that’s not enough,

It has a dictionary;
And every country’s map—
Just ask me where a river is.
I’ll find it in a snap!

There’s only one small problem—
It’s nothing much at all.
But someday maybe I should learn
To actually make a call.